Becoming a surrogate mother - can a Canadian be a mom for an American couple?

I am considering being a surrogate after 2 healthy, relatively easy pregnancies. We weren't supposed to be able to have children but were blessed, so it'd be nice to give to someone who cannot.

I know in Canada it is illegal to profit from being a surrogate, aside from out-of-pocket expenses. Can a Canadian be a surrogate for Americans?Becoming a surrogate mother - can a Canadian be a mom for an American couple?
I believe that if can keep in contact with the child an make sure that the child is safe and alrigh that you can go on ahead but if you have any doubts at all.......no because most likely your conscience is showing you that you might just be making a mistake
The decision to participate in surrogacy (whether it be as a parent or as a surrogate) is extremely difficult, but can be one of the most rewarding times in your life.



It seems you have done some research on the subject. I believe you are correct that there are laws regarding compensation and surrogacy in Canada. However, with the proper legal guidance, your dream of helping another to become a parent can really happen!



There are many websites with tons of information, but the best I have found so far is http://www.surromomsonline.com/... You will find insight, articles, advertisements, and even a message board community.



As I said before, surrogacy is a wonderful option to those wanting to start/expand their family or for someone interested in helping another achieve that goal. Don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions!



Good luck to you!Becoming a surrogate mother - can a Canadian be a mom for an American couple?
I don't think it is illegal while everything is settled with attorneys. And also you could be from anywhere and be a surrogate for an American. Be just carefull who you choose to have your baby. you know smoking, alcoholism, ect.....



Also don't be to close in contact with the child since that could represent bonding and later you can't let go..



There are site were you can find information. I read that the cost is between 15000 to 25000 but if you do the math it is really cheap.



Good luck
You can....you need to reach ut to an agency to help you! you can get compinsated also!

italian translation to english

dashi

Finding a Surrogate mother instead of adoption?

am a gay 43 year old man. I want children but I prefer them to be of my own flesh and blood. What does it involve to find a surrogate women what does it cost? What are the implications, if any?



By the way I am gay.Finding a Surrogate mother instead of adoption?
I don't know about cost or how to find a willing body you can use to grow your progeny, but I know where you can get some great information about implications. This web site was written by the product of the type of arrangement you're seeking. Might be worth a read.



http://sonofasurrogate.tripod.com/
There are Surrogacy Agencies that can match you with a surrogate mother, however, it is quite expensive, with all the fees for the surrogate, agency, legal fees, medical procedures, cost of delivery, travels cost, etc, it's often close to $100,000. There's also a lot of risk involved. There's no guarentee that the chosen surrogate will get pregnant, and be able to carry the baby to term. Also, unless you use donor eggs instead of the surrogates, she will still legally be the childs mother at birth, and can decide not to relinquish her parental rights. I would suggest doing a lot of research.Finding a Surrogate mother instead of adoption?
On behalf of those on this website with more than two brain cells to rub together, I apologize for the rudeness. it's perfectly reasonable to want a biological chld, no matter if you're gay, straight, or whatever. You should inquire at fertility clinics, and in low income areas, and maybe with churches or in the paper. Even a website may help. I even heard of one adorable story on a talkshow where a man and woman made an agreement for him to donate sperm and for her to have her child first, and than surrogate for him. All he paid for was her medical bills the second time around. That way they could keep in touch about medical issues concerning themselves and the children. All in all, best of luck to you!
We got it, you're gay.



So you want to create a human being who will have lost his mother,(half his/her "flesh and blood") so that you can put them in daycare for 9-10 hours a day? Why? Because you didn't get something you wanted? Wow. That's really selfish.



I think women who sell their kids usually want 20-40K per kid. You asked about "implications". I've got to believe they are similar to a traditional adoptee's problems, further compounded in your case by the loss of a parent and being raised by a single gay male. Here some links to read about the ramifications of growing up adopted:



http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

http://www.amfor.net/

http://www.origins-usa.org

http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm

http://www.babyscoopera.com

http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html



Adoption studies:

http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionfore鈥?/a>

http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/to鈥?/a>

http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/w鈥?/a>



Books:

The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND

Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton

The Adopted Break Silence by Jean Paton

The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler

Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky
I don't really have any information on costs of surrogates although I know there are groups that specialize in this. What I do know is that I adopted and could not imagine loving my son more. If you truly want to be a parent you may want to think again about your reasons for wanting a child to be genetically (at least part) yours. Once they are born and you are trying to get them dressed every morning, tucking them into bed and occasionally pulling your hair out over their misbehavior you will likely find that their genetics have no bearing on how much you love or care for them. Bringing a child into your home should be about the child. Maybe you are worried that as a gay man your ability to adopt will be limited. I don't know about all states but I do know that in my state gay couples and individuals are able to and do adopt. I would try to see if you can get some information on what the situation is in your state. There are plenty of kids who need homes, especially in foster care.
this is something i have thought about actually. I am single and almost 30 and am ready to have a baby. I have friends who are stable and a gay couple who cant have children and we have talked about an arrangement to do this and co parent. I would spread the word around with your friends and you may come up with something.
sorry, but asking a woman to rent out her womb, and use her body for YOUR benefit (for a price) is tantamount to prostitution. and it's unfair to the child born from this arrangement. to be bred just to be bought and sold is reminiscent of animal breeding.



if you wish to parent, there's TONS of children in foster care, who would love a daddy...



surrogacy is an ethical nightmare.
Hun there are plenty of surrogates out there who will work with gay men. Most surrogates are paid between $25,000 %26amp; $30,000. Then you also have to pay medical bills and any other expenses. Good luck hun
i think you have to find a person who is willing and pay 10,000
I think everyone should have the right to have children as long as the child is loved and cared for. Adoption is not for everybody and each person has to do what they feel is right for them. I don't think surrogates should be payed thousands of pounds to 'rent' their womb...that's a bit dodgy,although certainly medical expenses should be payed...like IVF and such things... but surrogacy should be something you do to help someone having difficulties conceiving for whatever reasons to have the wonderful experience of being a parent.
I don't know about where to find them. But I do know that I would do it for a gay friend of mine absolutely free of charge just b/c I love him that much and b/c I know he would be a great father.

Is it a mortal sin to be a surrogate?

Is it the Catholic Church's stance that for a woman to carry a child for another couple is a grave sin? Donating eggs and sperm is out of the question of course, but what about surrogate mothers?Is it a mortal sin to be a surrogate?
There are two type of surrogacy:

+ Traditional: The surrogate mother is artificially inseminated with the sperm of the intended father or sperm from a donor when the sperm count is low. In either case the surrogate鈥檚 own egg will be used. Genetically the surrogate becomes the mother of the resulting child.

+ Gestational: The surrogate mother has no genetic ties to the offspring. Eggs and sperm are extracted from the donors and in vitro fertilized and implanted into uterus of the surrogate.



+ Artificial Insemination +



The Catholic Church does not approve of artificial insemination.



The U.S. bishops address this question in the fourth edition of the USCCB text Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services:



Directive 38: When the marital act of sexual intercourse is not able to attain its procreative purpose, assistance that does not separate the unitive and procreative ends of the act, and does not substitute for the marital act itself, may be used to help married couples conceive.



Directive 41: Homologous artificial fertilization (that is, any technique used to achieve conception using the gametes of the two spouses joined in marriage) is prohibited when it separates procreation from the marital act in its unitive significance (e.g., any technique used to achieve extra-corporeal conception).



For the complete document, see: http://www.usccb.org/bishops/directives.鈥?/a>



+ In Vitro Fertilization +



In most in vitro fertilizations, more than one egg is fertilized. Several embryos are then placed into the mother's womb. The remaining embryos are either destroyed or frozen. Destroying human embryos is abortion and freezing them with an unknown future hope of ever being born is not respecting the dignity of human life.



Later if and when the embryos begin to grow in the mother, all but one or two are usually aborted, again killing sacred human life.



And I have not even began discussing the harm to human dignity and our belief that God wants life to be the result of an act of love by those committed to loving each other.



For more information, see: http://www.usccb.org/prolife/programs/rl鈥?/a>

or the Catechism of the Catholic Church, section 2270 and following: http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt3s鈥?/a>

And:

http://www.catholic.net/index.php?id=157鈥?/a>

http://www.surrogacy.com/religion/cathol鈥?/a>

http://www.yale.edu/ynhti/curriculum/uni鈥?/a>



With love in Christ.
Your question is phrased as a request for clarification of Catholic theology. For a Catholic, a willful violation of one of the commandments (representing a willful violation of the covenant between god and "man") would constitute a mortal (as opposed to a venial) sin.



In this case the most likely violation would be the prohibition against adultery. In biblical times, this was narrowly interpreted as a married woman having sex with someone other than their husband. So, if the surrogate is a married Catholic then it is a mortal sin.



If you wanted a more modern and definitive answer, there may be material in the Vatican's treatise on bioethics that could offer further clarification.



Oh, and please, if this is important to you, don't take my word as any sort of final authority. Since this is on Yahoo, I am assuming that this is a casual religious discussion. I'm a Buddhist that has studied the history of the Christian church and Catholic theology, not a practicing Catholic, and certainly not a member of the Catholic clergy.



Good luck!Is it a mortal sin to be a surrogate?
God decides who has a child. To do anything else is to play God. So yes, I think it is a sin to carry a child that is not yours. I believe it is also a sin to ask or even worse, pay someone to do it for you.

A baby is a gift from God. He gives different gifts to people. He may have kept some barren so they would take in the homeless and the orphans. If they can get a surrogate Mother, then they will not adopt. So many children need familes. Why not let the barren women raise the children of those who have died. Sure everyone wants a child to be their own but to make it happen with science is just wrong. It is playing God as surely as aborting a baby that God has begun in a woman's womb.
I don't see why not- If a woman is willing to carry a child for someone who desperately wants one, then she is a better person than I...



@DreamDress- Two quick points, one, what is wrong with wanting to have a child of your own flesh and blood? And two, do you have any idea how difficuilt it is to adopt a child, it takes money, time, years of waiting and dissappointment..?
Another case of a 2000 year old book forbidding good things due to the fact that modern science simply didn't exist when man wrote the bible.



Sperm and egg donation is a kind thing that can help a lot of nice people who may have infertile partners or want to have a child on their own.

Being a surrogate is even kinder, it is a big burden that one undertakes to help people.



How awful to condemn someone for an act of kindness.
Yes, the church believes surrogates are selfish, money-grubbing women who victimize children.



But then they also believe in hundred-year-old women getting pregnant, and talking animals and stuff like that.
I wouldn't think it is.



And DreamDress, what if the surrogate was god's way of giving a couple the gift of a child? who are you to deny them a gift from god?
I think as long as the mother doesn't actually sleep with the father, then it's okay.
i don't see whats wrong with it.
It is a sin.

Can you help me find my surrogate mother?

I recently found out my mom isn't my biological mother. She could not have a child, so a surrogate mother had me. I am related to my dad but not my mom. I want to know my biological mother's name, ethnicity, etc. Please help!Can you help me find my surrogate mother?
Your parents love you to pieces....and they paid a shltload of $ to have you. If your parents don't wish you to know, you need to respect their wishes.

It is HURTFUL to them for you to care about this.
Just out of curiosity, did they use your mothers eggs and your fathers sperm or the surrogates eggs? was it because of your mothers infertility or was she physically unable to carry a child. if they used your mothers eggs and she raised you, then theonly thing the surrogate did was carry you. that doesn't make her your mother.Can you help me find my surrogate mother?
how are we supposed to know ur moms name... u sound like you are 12 tell us some info first like names dates pictures places and then i can give you adresses nubmers license plates... okay?
I don't know all the details from the short paragraph you wrote, but won't your mom %26amp; dad help you find her or set you in the right direction. (perhaps the agency they went thru).

good luck, i hope you find her

What is the cost and likelyhood of twins when using a surrogate mother?

My wife cannot get pregnant.What is the cost and likelyhood of twins when using a surrogate mother?
Conception of twins is considerably higher when using a surrogate mother. If you really want children, there is no price that cannot match your want. However, if you must know the cost, I've posted a site for you. Oh, and most surrogate mothers expect you to pay for the medical bills while she is pregnant with your baby.What is the cost and likelyhood of twins when using a surrogate mother?
Your chances are slightly higher to get twins through IVF even if they use only one blast/embryo. They believe it is because the handling of the egg encourages it to split.

Would you ever consider being a surrogate mother?

After having children of your own and experiencing the happiness and joys of what being a parent brings, would you ever consider giving this to someone else? Why or why not?Would you ever consider being a surrogate mother?
My oldest daughter, is unable to give birth due to medical complications at birth. Her and her husband have been married for 3 years and they both have talked to me about ME being their child's, my grandchild's surrogate mother. I love children and cannot wait to do this on November 14th when I am implanted with their potential child.
I have already looked into it. My reason is why should I let myself experience the joys of pregnancy and parenting when other people cannot. I feel selfish that God has allowed me to have children so easily. Pregnancy has been more emotional than tough on my body and I know I could do it for someone else. I am definitely considering it in the future once I have this baby and maybe one more.Would you ever consider being a surrogate mother?
After having one baby, I know that the only person in the world I could do this for is my sister. She has a condition which could lead to infertility in her future, so who knows it may even happen. It would be an enormously emotionally upheaving event, and I'm sure I'd cry my heart out over it regularly. But my love for my sister would make me see it through. There is nobody else in the world I'd do it for. I don't know how these women you hear of doing it through agencies etc manage to go through those 9 months of bonding and then have to say goodbye, but they must be extremely strong people.
I don't know If I could handle it. I know this may offend people but, I think its unnatural and I'd never do it. Same with all these fertilization processes people are doing to get pregnant and end up with like 6 kids at a time! Well, thats a little dramatic but you know. I mean I don't have a problem with people doing that stuff I just personally never would. Plus being pregnant is a time where you emotionally connect with the baby in a way NO ONE else can. I do admire the women who do though, you have to be very strong.
For someone I was very close to I probably would. I didn't love being pregnant, but I had a very easy non-complicated pregnancy and delivery. I've been through infertility, so I understand what a gift that would be to give someone. My mom said she would be my surrogate if we couldn't make our treatments work, and I think she was serious. My dad looked at her like she was totally nuts.
No. I couldn't carry a baby in my body for 40 weeks with all that entails and go through labor only to have nothing in the end. I would be heartbroken. Not to mention, babies know their mothers from the time they are in the womb. They know her voice and know her smell. I really feel that you would do a grave disservice to the child by confusing them in that way because the person they get is not who they are already used to. It just all around feels wrong to me. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it!
I offered to for my sister, because she was having such a hard time getting pregnant. Fertility treatments and all that, but after she quit, God stepped in and gave her the most beautiful son, the natural way.

But she would be the only person in the world I could do it for!
I did consider this at one time. My sister-in-law was unable to have children and I considered carrying one for her but I decided not to. I'm glad I made that decision. Her husband turned out to be a...sorry...can't think of the word at the moment and probably couldn't spell it if I could...one who preys on children. She later divorced him because of this.
I don't know if I could do this. I would want to do it for maybe my sisters, or my best friend if she couldn't have children. But for a complete stranger, absolutely not. My pregnancy wasn't complicated... I liked being pregnant until the end... when my back started hurting, and then you're ready for the baby to come. But I think I'd be very attached... so it may be hard.
yes!!! i was thinking about it for my sister in law after 3 miscarriages- right after i had mine she found out she was pregnant again and now she is having her baby in jan! but if she ever wanted me to i would- just as long as it was her egg- i dont know if i could do it if it was mine!
No I would not. I feel for the couples who cannot have their own, but I know I would not be able to let the baby go. I'm not against the idea, I think women who surrogate are incredible. I just know I couldn't do it.
I have thought about it.. I would consider it if I were single..

I dont think I could have my husband go through the joys and not so joyous times of pregnancy with me and then not raise the child.



I think it would be harder on him than me honestly.


Yes actually it is funny you asked this because I have wanted to be able to give others that gift forever now, but we are still in the process of expanding our family, but I am seriously concidering it in the future!!! God Bless!
Oh hell no.

Im sorry. My pregnancy was insanely complicated, and I hated being pregnant.

It wasnt a "beautiful time" as some women think it is.



But I think its very kind of any woman that would do it, %26amp;%26amp; would NEVER negatively judge them for it.
No-I couldn't imagine carrying a child and then giving them away. I'm not sure if it would be different knowing its not mine dna wise but I'm not willing to take that chance because I know how in love with my daughter I am just carrying her.
No because I think that being pregnant for nine months would make me become to emotionally and physically attached to the baby. I just wouldn't have the strength I guess I am not strong in that department.
I would but only for my sister...I can not imagine going through all of that for someone that I dont even know...but I would want my sister to experience the happiness that my girls have brought to us...
Yep.... for a close friend or family member so I knew I could see the child.



I *love* being pregnant and I would be absolutely delighted to be able to give such an amzing gift to someone who would be otherwise unable to have children.
I hated being pregnant, I don't think I'll ever do it again for myself let alone for someone else...

Before I was pregnant I am pretty sure I would've considered doing it for someone I was very close to.
I don't think i could, just because I am just the kind of person that I get attached very easily. That would be something that would be very difficult for me.
Yes I'd love to but surrogacy is illegal in most states here in Australia, unfortunately :-(
No. I don't think i could carry a chld for 9 months and give it away!
I would not. Pregnancy was too hard on my body.

monroe muffler

russian translator

Do you believe in surrogacy and would you ever be a surrogate mother?

I do, and if it was someone who i know and loved and couldn't carry a baby, i would do it in a heartbeat.Do you believe in surrogacy and would you ever be a surrogate mother?
I would love to be a surrogate. I think it's a wonderful thing.
I would absolutely do it as long as it would be a close friend or family member other than that I wouldn't be able to do it.Do you believe in surrogacy and would you ever be a surrogate mother?
I think if you can and want to do it, its great. Some people can't have babies on their own, and surrogacy is a way to give them their dreams back. I'd do it if I could.
i would do it for any of my children.
Yes definately if to help out a close friend or family member, no doubt.
Absolutely. I loved every minute of being pregnant and would do it again in a heartbeat. Of course without the responsibilities that come in nine months.
Yes i would but only for my sister. She has had a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer and cannot have anymore children. Ive had 2 children with minimal problems and told her if she and her new husband decided to have another child then i would be a surrogate for them.
I think it is a good thing would I ever do it. Nope I hate being pregnant and all that, its bad enough going through it when I want a baby much less going through it and then haveing nothing to do with the baby
I would do it for a close friend or family member, absolutely!
YES! There are a lot of women out there who can't have babies of their own. It really wouldn't matter if I knew the couple or not. If I was able to do it sure I would give that mother a chance to expierence being a mother. It is so beautiful. so my asnwer is YES i would be a surrogatte mother and YES I would do it in a heartbeat.
I think it's a great thing, I can't really answer the questiono tho as I am still currently pregnant with the first one..let me see how bad labor is and I'll get back to you..lol.
I agree with it.I would not do it though...i'm too old.
Of course I believe in it, and of course I would do it. I think it's terrible that some women physically are not able to have children and if I was blessed to be able to have them (which I don't know if I have been or not since I have no kids yet) I would definitely do it for someone who was not so fortunate.
i thinkits great and fair play to those who do i personally couldnt as i would find it hard to hand over a baby i just gave birth to the bond would be there after carrying it for 9 mths i dont think i could do it but its great some people can
I think it's a wonderful gift that women can give to one another, and I truly admire women who do become surrogates for another woman. I have to say though that I just could not do it. Having lost a baby at 25 weeks, and had another at 26 weeks that stayed in hospital for months, I just could NOT nurture and grow another baby, only to walk out of the hospital with empty arms again by choice.
I admire people who can do it. I just wouldn't be able to give the child up after carrying it for nine months.
I would only do it for my sister who cannot have children,but anyone else no
i think surrogacy is a great thing i believe it is such a great thing to do for childless couples.i myself couldn carry a baby for 9 months and give i t up.im not bein selfish n that either..i lost two kids im 23 .i lost my son 3 yrs ago aged 6 weeks and miscarried 17 weeks ago..so i hope u can understand why i couldnt do surrogacy myself..bcos after losin my kids i just dont know if god will ever give me the miracle of another baby..
I offered to be a surrogate for my best friend a few years ago. She and her husband had been trying for years to have a baby, she did become pg twice but miscarried both times.



I talked to my husband, talked to her... and I really wanted to do so. However... given the fact that I had severe PPD after the birth of my daughter, not to mention quite complicated pregnancies with my children, I am not an ideal candidate. I talked to my ob/gyn about it... almost begged. She loved that I wanted to do this, but she said that there was no way I'd be able to do it.



I would have done it in a heartbeat, too. :)
yes and yes
If I actually enjoyed being pregnant then I would do it, I feel very crappy when I am pregnant but if it was for someone who was close to me then I would do it for definate.
I have nothing against it at all, I think women who do this, are amazing. But i know i could'nt do it because when i have been pregnant, i have become attached straight away, %26amp; would go to pieces so i'd make a lousy candidate. But to all those surrogate mother's out there i think your great, keep it up %26amp; im glad you are as like minded as them, star on way.
I think surrogacy is a beautiful thing. And yes if somebody that i was close to was unable to carry a child i would offer in a heartbeat to carry their child for them. It must be a wonderful feeling to be able to give somebody the most precious gift in the world, a baby.
i do believe in it and i would do it for a family member or close friend
i would carry some elses baby if they had probs carrying, i wouldnt give my own eggs though as i'd be worried i may think the baby was mine as it had half of my genetic make-up. But if the egg and sperm were not mine and a v close friend or sister asked me to, i would.
Having a baby was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. If a close friend or family member could not have a baby, I would love to offer them the most beautiful gift ever. I think it would probably be extremely difficult, to say the least, to part with the baby, that's why I would do it only for family or really close friends. Needless to say the baby would be my favourite niece or nephew, and I would have to see her\him as often as possible.

But yes I would do it. How often in our lives do we get a chance to make someone so happy? To offer such a priceless gift?
Absolutely - as a matter of fact, I'm signed up with a reproductive lawyer to be a gestational surrogate. As a gestational surrogate, I would have no biological tie to the baby, which would be easier for me. Unless it was someone I knew well and loved, I'm not sure that I could give someone else a baby that was biologically mine. I love being pregnant and even labor and delivery, so I feel that I should help others that for some reason can't carry on their own. There's nothing like having your child in your arms for the first time, and if I can help give that to another person, I do it gladly!
I have two friends who have tried for years to fall pregnant. They were the only ones I was affraid to tell when i found out i was pregnant. I would love to have a couple of kids for my husband and I then have a couple for them, at the moment i am enjoying being pregnant and more than that i know both would be wonderfull parents and they are missing out. Life is not always fair.....
i think its a great some people can av babies and give them away at the end of nine months of carrying them. I don't think i could ever do it myself as i av 3 children UN the thought of giving 1 of them away when they were born its unthink able
No. With all the children in the world who need homes, I think it's immoral to go to such lengths to create more babies.