There are people who accuse us of "giving our babies away" but yet the surrogate is getting PAID to raise a child to hand over to a couple. So why is one ok but not the other?Why do some people criticize birthmothers who place for adoption but applaud surrogate mothers?
First off, I'd never look down upon anyone who gave up their child for adoption. Ever.
Secondly, I'm surprised at how many people are against surrogacy...but whatever, you are allowed to make that decision for yourself. I agree that some forms of surrogacy are rather wrong and that those parents should be looking for a child that already needs a home, rather than create one, I also understand why some parents would chose to have one that is biologically theirs instead.
I'm not going to lie, I was a surrogate for my best friend. I got no money, beyond some help since I couldn't work for part of the pregnancy and something for maternity clothes. I did IVF-giving myself shots in the butt for 12 weeks straight, going to numerous appointments, etc. And in the end we had a baby girl who is now 5 years old, the most loved little girlie in the world-and she is completely her parents biologically. I was just the oven :)
Anywho, I'd never look down upon anyone, for either.
I don't compare them at all.
They're different situations and mindsets when it comes to adoption. A child thats biologically yours has to be treated differently, a girl falling pregnant has the opportunity to raise the baby herself, its a major thing in her life to decide not to. Surrogacy, she signed a contract and she wasn't pregnant at the time. She knows whats she's doing, she has time to think about it before hand. And often a surrogate mother is carrying a child NOT biologically hers. How can they be compared in the same 'playing field.'
I'm not sure how I feel about surrogacy, its to complicated to just put it into a box. But she's a human being and I don't know why a woman would want to be a surrogate, and to judge her and call her names is as bad as judging a first mother. And I've never seen anyone applaud a surrogate mother here, if anything she gets more flak than anyone else.Why do some people criticize birthmothers who place for adoption but applaud surrogate mothers?
I feel nothing but empathy for first mothers. I can't imagine relinquishing a child and since I have never been in that position, I don't judge others who do it.
Surrogacy, however, is gross. It's wrong to intentionally create an adoptee. To carry and nourish a child for nine months with the INTENT of giving him/her away. To become pregnant intentionally for money. Ew, ew, ew.
Surrogates get paid for intentionally creating an adoptee, and that is disgusting...even if there is no money exchanged.
Adoption agencies and baby brokers get paid for their "services" upwards of $35,000.00 (when actual costs are less than 5k) equally disgusting.
And first Mothers are only criticized when they want to find or want to have a relationship with their child. They are saints right before they deliver, then crackho's when they change their mind, or want to see their child.
I really haven't heard that opinion. I think that surrogacy is highly immoral and should be illegal. There are enough children in this world who need to be adopted, we don't need to scientifically manufacture more of them.
I've never heard someone laud surrogates, but look down upon first mothers.
I consider mothers who place their babies up for adoption to be very self-less, in this day and age it may be easier to get an abortion. Some people have trouble with the idea that a mother could actually give up her own flesh and blood, a very outdated notion.
Neither are okay or not okay. It comes down to individual choices. I don't have an issue with either choice and yet at the same time I have issues with both choices. It really depends on the circumstances of each individual situation.
As someone who has been abandoned, I can't agree with any form of giving your child away.
Surrogacy should be illegal, it is immoral to create a baby for the sole purpose of giving him to the highest bidder.
I've honestly never thought of criticizing birth mothers who give their children up for adoption. It's a tough choice and they need support.
i don't think either is okay--but at least a surrogate gets paid for her services.
There is so much selective morality on her and it is just hogwash!!!!!!
I think that birth mothers who place their babies for adoption are very brave and should be applauded for choosing to do the right thing and not abort the baby. I think that more women who choose not to take the right steps to prevent an unplanned pregnancy should consider adoption. The only thing that I would wish is that the birth mother would find a family to adopt their baby early on in their pregnancy, that way the child will not have to live "in the system".
My question is this, why is it that anyone can have a child no questions asked, but you have to jump through so many hoops to have a dog legally? Maybe if we switched those around there would be many less children being abused and neglected.
My personal opinion is what ever is best for the child. I would rather hear about a birth mother giving her child up to a better home than not being able to take care of them and them suffering through a miserable life or hearing bout abortion are babies being found in the trash. People are always gonna have negative thing to say. I feel that a person has to do whats best for there personal situation it doesnt mean that you are wrong are that u love your baby any less than tha surrogate mother. Personally they are hussling!!!
I think the answer to your question is because women who are surrogates plan on getting pregnant and doing that for a couple in need. Where as a woman who gives up her child, does it because they can't care for their child or because they don't want their child. im not against either. I believe that both are very self-less actions. but these could be the reasons why some poeple might look down at women who give up their own child.
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