Not being married Lyndsey, or having a partner, or children. I really don't feel qualified to answer on the parenting side. But as a layman, I know there have been cases where women became surrogate mothers to genuinely help out a childless couple that could not have children of their own. Unfortunately, they have been very few. And this is where your internal conflict comes in. Most surrogate mothers really do what they do for huge sums of money. It becomes like a market-place for babies. The only essence of love is from the would-be parents, and not from the mother who is doing what she does only for the money, which leaves a sour taste in the mouth. I can only guess at your feelings as a real mother. Maybe there is anger, maybe there is sympathy, maybe there is understanding which could be coupled with love. Like I said, I am answering a difficult question as an outsider.
I fully agree with you on adoption. There are too many children out there who might just end up in orphanages. Some might be lucky and go to foster parents. The really lucky ones would be adopted by loving parents.
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Are surrogate mothers money-hungry or altruistic?i doubt you want to get into their mind. prob not a nice place to be. wierdo`s im sure.
I think its because of the 9 month inconvenience, the pain, morning sickness, illnesses, possibility of complications, and general risk of life. I am not sure what they get paid, but I am sure its a pretty fair amount. Not to mention they may have to change their lifestyle to fit with how they have to eat while pregnant, and alter their entire life. I think it would be worth it. Dunno if i could do it, i might have too much of an emotional attachment to the child, but I can definitely appreciate those that do.
Some women want to give another a chance to be a mother. It's all in your heart. The money you ask? Well if the motherless woman was to have a child she would have to pay for her medical care, tests and such. As for the extra money for the surrogate, think about it. She is spending nine months to help another couple, she has to buy maternity clothes and she is placing nine months of her life on hold. It is a business transaction and she should be compensated.
I would be a surrogate but I think adoption is better and doubt I could find people I'd be comfortable with. I'd do it because I think it's amazing being pregnant and it would be awesome to give someone a child. The money would come in because it's NINE MONTHS OF HARD WORK followed by labor and delivery! I see no reason any woman who does that shouldn't get paid a pretty large amount.
Have you every been pregnant or gone through labor? It's not always easy. You deal with about 2 months of constant nausea and vomiting, urination, constipation, sore boobs. Then you get about 2-3 months of feeling good before the backaches, heartburn, constipation, sretchmarks, sore boobs, short of breath kicks in.
Labor is no joy either at least not until you have your child only in surrogacy, you don't go home with the child, your left sad because you carried and cared for a child for 40 weeks and walk away most likely never seeing or knowing how its doing. You have to deal with the surge of maternal hormones on top of that.
Then there's the risk--diabetes, clapsia, bleeding to dead, c-section.
And the appoints and tests.
It's not an easy job, it's over 10 months (due to prep which include psychology testing, interviewing, meetings, physicals, and weeks of medication (including possible daily injections which last for weeks).
They deserve the money they get and the gratitude. What I hate is that the drug companies and doctors charge such outrageous prices making is so hard and even impossible for couples to have a child. Most insurance companies are just as bad for not seeing infertility as a medical problem.
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