How do you go about finding a surrogate mother?

I want to have a baby but I can't get pregnant without getitng stretch marks.

I need someone to carry my eggs for me.How do you go about finding a surrogate mother?
Hey maybe it's YOUR babby I'm having....You snuck them eggs up my vajoiner at the orgy didn't ya??



Oh you cow...If I get all stretched out and fatarsed I am going to bitchslap you SO hard.AND I am charging you rent for the space that brat of yours is taking up in my uterus.How do you go about finding a surrogate mother?
Govt won't let me cause of my tattoos.



*cries*