Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Have you ever wanted to be a surrogate mother?

I have a friend that has a problem with her uterus that makes it where she can get pregnant, but she can't carry a pregnancy full term. She has had numerous miscarriages and is very heartbroken. I know she and her husband would make excellent parents. I want to offer to help her by being a surrogate mother, but nobody in my family supports my decision. I will not go against the wishes of my husband to do this but I wish he'd change his mind and support it. My parents and in-laws also think it is a bad idea and don't like it. They all said that pregnancy is too hard on a woman's body and that it might jeopardize me having more children of my own in the future (I have one already). Oh yeah, my in laws are Catholic and they said the whole thing is sinful, too. Should I give up on the idea? How do you change other peoples' minds? I won't make such a big decision without having my family back me up.Have you ever wanted to be a surrogate mother?
I had offered to be a surrogate for my best friend. She and her husband have been dealing with infertility issues for quite some time. She has become pg twice, but miscarried both times.



I so wanted to do this for her. My husband and family were concerned for me, b/c I had a miscarriage myself, and then did go to have two babies, however, had rather difficult pgcies and a very severe case of PPD (postpartum depression) after my daughter was born. So, I was not the ideal candidate for being a surrogate.



My gyn told me... NO, you cannot do this, given your hx.



If you have a healthy body and don't have a complicated reproductive hx... then you definitely could do it... but with your husband not being supportive, I don't think you should. As for your in-laws... I'm Catholic, too, but don't consider it to be sinful. I think it's a very beautiful gift to give to someone.



I would try to talk to your husband more, explain to him what it would mean to you... not to mention to your friend, what surrogacy would do. Don't worry about the in-laws... their beliefs are just ... well... don't worry.



I wish you the best. I think it's a wonderful thing you want to do for your friend.
You can't always change others opinions. You are right not to do it without your husband's support. After all, he will have to support you through a pregnancy. Truthfully, your intentions are noble and very selfless. Personally, I don't know if I could be a surrogate mother. It would be difficult on me emotionally. The only way it would jeopardize your ability to have children in the future would be if there were complications. Perhaps there is another person who would be willing to do it for them. There is also always adoption.Have you ever wanted to be a surrogate mother?
I have never wanted to do this because i could not carry a baby to term then give it away. I think you should talk to your hubby about it and find out why he is against it. Maybe he doesn't understand how it is done. I also think your in-laws are strange thinking it is a sin but your hubby may feel the same if he was raised catholic. I think this is between you and your hubby you have to take into consideration that it is taking a bunch of shots then you may have multiples because that happens with in vitro and it might jeopardize your childbearing future. I would go to your ob/gyn and tell them what you are thinking about doing. Have them explain in graphic detail how it works, what happens, any risks and if you would be a candidate for doing it. Then you will be totally informed to make a decision.
i think thats a wonderful thing you want to do for your friend.

if i was in your family id totally back you.

its sad when good people cant have children.

it is not sinful at all. it truley is a wonderful thng and takes a special person to offer something like that.
no, i could never carry someone elses child. you will become attached to it and it will be very hard for you to give that baby away and watch it grow up knowing you helped it get here.... but you do what you want to do, i just think you'll regret it one day.

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